Yes, she's a cyborg (her CP unit whirs quite loudly when she purrs). It really should be spelled P.R.I.S. as it stands for Pleasure Reproduction Insemination Series (yes, the name was inspired by Bladerunner). Once she fulfilled the reproduction aspect of her protocol, we started calling her Lil Momma (the beau didn't know there was a rapper of that name and I live in the hood lite so I thought it was riot to yell out "Lil Momma" when it was wet food time). However, her real name is a song and it really is the only thing she answers to.

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Im calling animal welfare on you. No cat should have to endure such cheesy back story. You're a monster. A MONSTER I SAY

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Glad I gave the short version!

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just use the "fox in a box solution"
will work a treat

I had this issue with a bird before and thought i'd play hero, picked it up threw it in the air, and bam it landed on the floor, all broken, it was horrific. So i decided the best idea was to let nature run its course and let the cat kill it.

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DOA FOR LYFE!

take the sharpest knife in the drawer and cut off it's head.

and everybody's favorite, the classic s&m leather cat muzzle*


*suitable for all muzzle velocities

if you live somewhere with lots of lizards, there's bound to be a reptile sanctuary/rescue clinic, probably one that is even run by the national forest service. get that number for next time. and put a bell on your cat