horny middle aged women

Aug 9, 2007

  1. FuzzBreaker Banned by DOA

    FuzzBreaker
    34,369 posts
    Since May 19, 2003
    I just asked this woman at work if she wanted a fork, to eat her salad with. She said 'it's a little early for that isn't it?'. I didn't know what to say. :smashed: :laughing:
  2. Moif Got Brap?

    Moif
    762 posts
    Since Sep 29, 2006
    Ahh the art of the Office Innuendo.

    "Would you like that tossed?"

    Ooh Matron.
  3. Steak Oh noez! D:

    Steak
    876 posts
    Since Sep 9, 2006
    Player...
  4. Sable retired

    Sable
    66,948 posts
    Since May 23, 2003
    Fake. Eating a salad at 9:40am? Come on. :smashed:
  5. Wozowski Modernator

    Wozowski
    20,031 posts
    Since Aug 18, 2004
    "Would you like your back door kicked in with that salad"

    Nudge nudge wink wink. :wink:
  6. Sable retired

    Sable
    66,948 posts
    Since May 23, 2003
    And why would you ask the woman if she wanted a fork? Surely she'd have a fork if she was gonna be eating her salad.

    You just wanted to start a thread about horny middle aged women.
  7. mistabishi INACTIVE ACCOUNT

    mistabishi
    7,676 posts
    Since Feb 10, 2002
    aaaw i hear you fuzz.

    these types basically suffer from double-entendre disease. you could say anything to them and it'd be rude.


    "yeh hi Lorraine, have you got those specs sent out yet?"

    "as the bishop said to the stripper"


    WHAT? Bishops? Strippers? Just do your fuckin job. i'm not interested in your lavishly-pubed echo-chamber. *ugh*
  8. Riot999 ̴ͣ͑ỏ͆̽̽́̿͜u̔́tͭ͗͌́̀ ͒͛́ͤ̍

    Riot999
    22,629 posts
    Since Apr 25, 2001
    Offer to toss her salad and ask her if she requires a spork while you prepare some mayonaise.

    *FNARR FNARR*
  9. Robbo Delicious

    Robbo Delicious
    22,830 posts
    Since Apr 12, 2006
    I used to work in an antique auction house.

    There was this sexy, late 40s/early 50s bird who frequently attended auctions and viewings. I always fancied the idea of being seduced by her and used to fantasize about her fairly vigorously.

    One day I opened the jewellery cabinet for her to have a look at these button-type things. I don't recall exactly what they were but they could be fastened to a shirt over or in place of buttons. Anyway, she decided she needed to try them out on me and proceeded to fasten them to my shirt in a manner reminiscent of a de-shirting! She was looking me in the eye and totally buttoning me up.

    Long story short it freaked the shit out of me and I got all uncomfortable.

    Mature love is easier said than done, boys.
  10. office drone

    office drone
    5,350 posts
    Since Jul 15, 2006
    :laughing:
  11. Editz Down for a jack move

    Editz
    31,136 posts
    Since Oct 15, 2003
    :script:

    I had it put on me once in a car.

    I nearly climbed out the window and fled like a scared child.
  12. TIMLEDLEY .

    TIMLEDLEY
    26,398 posts
    Since Nov 9, 2001
    demand a pay rise or you will sue for sexual harassment
  13. RXYLAB

    RXYLAB
    5,335 posts
    Since Aug 13, 2004
    You showed him Sable, his too ashamed to post now. You saw straight through him.
  14. Heretic911 Guest

    Heretic911
    4,132 posts
    Since Dec 25, 2004
    rofl

    I don't think it's that hard, you just turn your brain off and your dick on.

    not thinking = no problems :teeth:
  15. FuzzBreaker Banned by DOA

    FuzzBreaker
    34,369 posts
    Since May 19, 2003
    Sable, it was an early morning sandwich van liason, I was merely being helpful and asking if she wanted a fork with the salad she was buying, as I too was buying a salad and was collecting a fork for myself. :biggrin:
  16. FuzzBreaker Banned by DOA

    FuzzBreaker
    34,369 posts
    Since May 19, 2003
  17. Robbo Delicious

    Robbo Delicious
    22,830 posts
    Since Apr 12, 2006


    Why don't you post about it on DOA?
  18. Sable retired

    Sable
    66,948 posts
    Since May 23, 2003
    Even fakerer. YOU? SALAD? CHINNY RECKON!!!!!!!!!!! :teeth:
  19. FuzzBreaker Banned by DOA

    FuzzBreaker
    34,369 posts
    Since May 19, 2003
    shut it fatty
  20. courier RinsingAgentRA

    courier
    34,606 posts
    Since Aug 1, 2003
    :puke: :laughing:
  21. Editz Down for a jack move

    Editz
    31,136 posts
    Since Oct 15, 2003
    I can't seperate sex from er the other thing.
  22. forest gimp

    forest gimp
    5,617 posts
    Since Jan 2, 2005
    I actually did a BBQ a few weeks back for one of my mums friends bday party. Quite a few of them were middle aged single mums and after a few drinks they kept hitting on me. I got dragged onto a trampoline - I was in fear of drinking just in case I got attacked. I ended getting drunk just to handle the situ.

    One woman was trying to take a pic of me to send to her X - titled 'Look what Im taking home tonight'

    :laughing:


    (I loved it really)
  23. FuzzBreaker Banned by DOA

    FuzzBreaker
    34,369 posts
    Since May 19, 2003
    lol @ trampoline

    It makes me feel really awkward, any bird below 30 is fine but when they start getting towards that menopause age it just freaks me out and makes me feel a bit sick...
  24. Bboy Corrosive

    Bboy Corrosive
    14,487 posts
    Since Feb 7, 2007
    Dirty 30 sex is some of the best sex you'll probably ever have

    *cue fuzz style insult* if any of you lot ever have sex! :mad:

    :biggrin:
  25. FuzzBreaker Banned by DOA

    FuzzBreaker
    34,369 posts
    Since May 19, 2003
    Bah, people always say that. Most of them have probably never shagged a 30 year old. Besides, 30 isn't middle aged. I'm talking 40+. The best sex I've had has been with girls in their early to mid twenties... Everything is still unaffected by the laws of gravity, there are no wrinkles but there is still a certain amount of experience and maturity about them.
  26. Heretic911 Guest

    Heretic911
    4,132 posts
    Since Dec 25, 2004
    "other thing"? :melody:
  27. Bboy Corrosive

    Bboy Corrosive
    14,487 posts
    Since Feb 7, 2007
    shag dance teachers dude, they're toned and have anti grav boobs :wink:
  28. monsta THEY TAKE MY CARTOONS

    monsta
    12,948 posts
    Since Jan 10, 2002
    my mate who`s 24 shagged a 45 year old woman.
    was wierd cos he phoned me in the night well pissed and mentioned how there`s this older woman with him but she`s really fit blah blah....
    then he didn`t brag about it the next day ,he kept wantin to change the subject. but i found out that halfway thro she stuck her finger up his arse.
  29. office drone

    office drone
    5,350 posts
    Since Jul 15, 2006
    :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
  30. Tom@osmosisbeats .

    Tom@osmosisbeats
    10,971 posts
    Since Sep 16, 2004
    bahaha Busted. "mayday, mayday, thread fail alert"